Is It Appropriate or Inappropriate?
Number one: Should you fart in an elevator and not own up to it?
I’m pretty sure we’ve all done it at one point or another in our lives. One time I got on an elevator with a woman and her Corgi dog. The woman clearly farted and then leaned down, and said, “Shame on you, Pebbles.” I was like, “What?” She blamed the poor doggy on her brutal, public, rancid air attack. Meanwhile, the dog looked at me like, “And I have to live with this on a daily basis!” Meanwhile, I just rubbed my nose like I had sinus issues, and ran out of the elevator. Appropriate? Please……we all beg you to try to at least hold it in, til you get to the hallway.
Number two: Should you eat all the free desserts at every restaurant for your B-day?
Probably not. I did that one time prior to becoming vegan and never again. I went to 6 different restaurants offering free desserts for your b-day. I ate a large bowl of ice-cream. Consumed a huge chunk of chocolate cake. Drank a large milk-shake. Stuffed down a large turtle dessert. Had a caramel fudge brownie. And finally, scarfed down a piece of chocolate cream pie. I was on a massive sugar high man…. I drove faster, walked faster, and talked faster. I got all the stuff done in one day, that would normally take me a week. Whew!!!!! And boy, did I later crash….and slept for hours!
Number three: Should you Nod at someone even though you don’t know what the hell they are talking about?
This happened a while back. A stranger was rambling on about some sort of technical computer stuff. I just listened and nodded for about 20 minutes. Finally, he said, “You don’t know what I’m talking about, do you?” I said, “You’re right. Not one word.” We both laughed.
Number four: should you say congratulations to a stranger who looks like they are pregnant?
The answer here is a definite NO! I did this one time at the check out line of a grocery store. I thought she was pregnant, so I stated happily, “Congrats on expecting a new baby in your life!” She looked at me like I was satan, and said flatly, and forcefully, “I am NOT pregnant.” So……leave those ladies alone! They are simply just blissful they finished a Supersize meal and a whole bucket of ice-cream. Don’t guess…..just smile.
Number five: Should you wear clean socks to the airport?
Well……..as you can guess…….I didn’t. I was in a huge rush when I had to get to the airport one time. I forgot to change my socks. Got to security, and they ask everyone to take off their shoes. I looked around horrified, knowing my own socks were stinky and dirty. I was praying no one would notice, but as it turns out, they did. Even the security guard looked at my feet, then at me, and gave me that “winced” look. From now on, I will ALWAYS have a clean pair of socks ready to put on.
Number six: should you pay for your entire purchase with pennies?
I’ve done this before. There were a couple times I was so broke I had to resort to my penny savings jar. Needless to say, everyone in line behind me was whispering stuff like, “What the hell is she doing?” And “OMG….she’s so broke she has to pay with pennies?” And, “How in the heck did I get in line behind her?” And then, the cashier looked at me like I was an alien with some sort of strange, unknown currency. So, no…..I wouldn’t suggest it.
Number seven: Should you tell a co-worker the new arrival looks like a Nasty prostitute?
I actually overheard this one time at one of my former jobs. A new lady was walking towards the work building. Two co-workers of mine were looking at her. Then one guy said to the other guy. “Wow, that one there looks like a nasty prostitute, with a messed up face, right?” The other guy said, “That’s my wife.” Talk about tension in the workplace.
Number eight: Should you take a doo in a public restroom?
Should you drop a huge, thunderous bomb in the tank when the echo factor inside a public stall is astronomical? Instead of being silent, shouldn’t we sing if we are going to attempt this? Please…….just.try.not.to. Thank you! Also, it will save you from a wet butt splash too!
Number nine: should you wear a bikini or a full one-piece swimsuit when water-sliding?
Take it from me……wear a one-piecer. Just believe me. It’s rare if your bikini top doesn’t come off. Others, of course will truly enjoy your naked boob experience. So, if you are an exhibitionist, feel free to wear a bikini.
Number ten: Should you tell your boss they have a white line of dust under their nostril?
When I was a bartender many years ago, this happened to me. I was serving my boss her usual cranberry and vodka juice. She went to the bathroom and sat back down. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t powdered sugar she was inhaling. I let her be that way for about 10 minutes and then decided it was the right thing to do. I went up to her, nodded my head and scratched my nose. She got the drift, and went to the bathroom to clean it off. Hopefully, by now she’s tanked that addiction.
Hope you all enjoyed today’s post and I’ll see you next time. Until then, have a great time.